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Thread: riddles

  1. #11
    toovop's Avatar
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    "penny's mother has 5 children.

    the 1st is called january.

    the 2nd, february.

    the 3rd, march.

    the 4th, april.

    what is the name of the 5th?"


    This is the original riddle, like Chinese whispers it changed, for the worse, doing the rounds of the net. The original is a little more riddly and satisfying. But yeah. if you you didn't get What for the butchered version you should be ashamed of yourself.

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  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by toovop View Post
    The original is a little more riddly and satisfying. But yeah. if you you didn't get What for the butchered version you should be ashamed of yourself.
    Still stupid...I mean, think of it:

    "Hey! Welcome to the party. What's your name?"

    "Yes! How did you know?"

    "Huh?"

    "What is my name."

    "I don't know your name."

    "What."

    "I said I don't know your name."

    "What."

    "Are you deaf? I don't know your name."

    "What."

    "I don't care what your fucking name is!"

    "Why are you yelling?"

    A name like that is justifiable cause to whack your mumma aside the head.

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  5. #13
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    Bad name joke

    A boy and his little brother stood in line to sign up for a field trip. When they got to the table the woman on the other side asked the older boy what his name was.

    "Wagonwheel Jones, ma'am."

    "Nick names are not acceptable. What is your real name?"

    "Wagonwheel Jones, ma'am."

    "I don't have time for this. Either give me your real name or step out of line."

    "Wagonwheel Jones. I have fourteen older siblings. My dad just started naming us the first thing he saw after he looked out the window."

    "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You're out of here. NEXT!"

    The boy turns to his brother. "Come on Chickenshit. She won't believe you either."

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  7. #14
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    Bad Name Joke

    A lady cop pulled over a ratty wreck of a car on suspicion of drunk driving. She steped to the driver's window and asked for his license. When she looked, the license said Harvey but a lengthy area behind had been heavily inked over.

    "Sir, I've pulled you on a DUI. If you don't want a ride to the station right now you'd best give me your name."

    "Well, ociffer, my name used to be Harvey Dingaling. When I graduated dentistry school I was know as Harvey Dingaling DDS.

    "I could finally afford what I really wanted to do and I went to medical school. After graduation I was known as Harvey Dingaling DDS, MD.

    "I became a renowned oral and general surgeon. After I started my practice I made shit-loads of money and started having wild parties. I was getting laid every night and soon I got VD. Then I was known as Harvey Dingaling DDS, MD, VD.

    "After the medical board found out about my VD they took away my MD and I was known as Harvey Dingaling DDS, VD. Then the dentistry board found out about my VD and took away my DDS and I was known as Harvey Dingaling, VD.

    "Eventually my VD took away my dingaling so now I'm just Harvey."
    Last edited by Jesse; 11-17-2016 at 02:49 PM.

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  9. #15
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    I like your version of Who's on First, and Wagonwheel Jones was an Indian kid called Two dogs F*cking the way I first heard the joke.

    But the riddle in question has a different answer in the "bold" version because the wording is s l i g h t l y different. The answer is a girl's name and makes perfect sense when you know the answer.

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  11. #16
    ಠ_ಠ defrabbit's Avatar
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    Penny?

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  13. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by defrabbit View Post
    Penny?
    Penny was adopted. The fifth child's name is What. Actually the fifth name was Wyatt but, as the southern mother was writhing in agony she enlisted the aid of a nurse to assist with the paperwork. When the nurse asked for the child's name the mother blurted it out in a forced breath with her heavy southern accent and the nurse in her confusion of the accent and concern over the patient wrote it Whyat but with the distraction she typoed the Y. Wyatt's name became What. The Nurse was disciplined and the mother misfiled the paperwork for correction so the name was never changed. What has lived in decadent wealth because the families last name was Up. Now every time a media form uses the term "What Up?" What sues for royalties.

    See, it isn't a riddle at all. It's just a family album.

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  15. #18
    toovop's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by defrabbit View Post
    Penny?


    Quote Originally Posted by Jesse View Post
    Penny was adopted. The fifth child's name is What. Actually the fifth name was Wyatt but, as the southern mother was writhing in agony she enlisted the aid of a nurse to assist with the paperwork. When the nurse asked for the child's name the mother blurted it out in a forced breath with her heavy southern accent and the nurse in her confusion of the accent and concern over the patient wrote it Whyat but with the distraction she typoed the Y. Wyatt's name became What. The Nurse was disciplined and the mother misfiled the paperwork for correction so the name was never changed. What has lived in decadent wealth because the families last name was Up. Now every time a media form uses the term "What Up?" What sues for royalties.

    See, it isn't a riddle at all. It's just a family album.
    Earp, Pardon.

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  17. #19
    Fucking With The Fuckwits Jaguar7777's Avatar
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    Two kids watch men paying five bucks at the door of a brothel. All the guys leave the brothel looking incredibly happy. Being only eleven years old they decide to give it a try. A woman with huge tits answers the door, and they give her their fifty cents, which is all they had. She grabs the money then proceeds to beat the living shit out of them. The two boys walk away, battered and bruised. After a short while one turns to the other and says, "Thank God we didn't have five bucks, I couldn't have taken much more of that ....."


    Jag. (Oldies but goldies .... )
    You Know Absolutely Nothing, So Kindly Keep It To Yourself.

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  19. #20
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    Which months have 28 days?


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