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Thread: Make Me Laugh

  1. #1
    Elite PK~'s Avatar
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    Make Me Laugh

    David owned a farm and a herd of cattle, and went to the local bank to
    borrow money for a new bull. The loan was made and Banker Bill, who lent the
    money, came by a week later to see how the bull was doing. David complained
    that the bull just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. The Banker
    suggested that he have a veterinarian take a look at the bull.

    Next week, the Banker returned to see if the vet had helped. David really
    looked very pleased. "The bull has serviced all of my cows! He broke
    through the fence, and serviced all my neighbor's cows! He's been
    servicing just about everything in sight. He's like a machine!"

    "Wow," said The Banker , "what did the vet do to that bull?"

    "Just gave him some pills," replied David.

    "What kind of pills?" asked The Banker.

    "I don't know, but they've got a peppermint taste."

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    I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night. Or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.

    After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough once she killed herself I started to feel a lot better. So I thought. To hell with it. I'll soldier on.

    I woke up this morning at 8 and could smell something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered MacDonalds serve breakfast until 11.30.

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  5. #3
    Too Daze Gone baddfingerz's Avatar
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    How many hands does it take for Helen Keller to drive?


    Two. One on the wheel, one on the road.

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  7. #4
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    In the north woods, you can tell when deer season is over . . .





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  9. #5
    Too Daze Gone baddfingerz's Avatar
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    Did you hear about the pollack that locked his keys in the car?


    Took hime 3 days to get his family out.

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  11. #6
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    I never realized I was dyslexic until I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.


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  13. #7
    Too Daze Gone baddfingerz's Avatar
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    Whadda ya call 2 nuns and a hooker on a football field?

    Two tight ends and a loose center.

    [or a wide reciever!]




    Crying parents tell their children
    If you survive don't do as we did
    A son exclaims there'll be nothing to do to
    Her daughter says she'll be dead with you...



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    PK~

  15. #8
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    A reporter asked Bill Clinton, "How's Hillary's head?"

    "We'll, she's no Monica."

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  17. #9
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    A real short bedtime story . . .












    the end

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  19. #10
    Yep, its insanity that keeps me sane, Kinda DukeDutchy's Avatar
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    Make me laugh

    Here. Some tools.
    You don't need us to make you laugh anymore.

    ........................"It's insanity that keeps me sane" -DD-........................

    ............Spero vestri pilosus scrotum puter ut vestri mulier pulsatus is!............

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